A New Translation of Luke 15

This is hilarious–

Feeling Footloose and Frisky, a Feather-brained Fellow
Forced His Fond Father to Fork over the Farthings,
and Flew Far to Foreign Fields where he Frittered his
Fortune Feasting Fabulously with Faithless Friends.

Fleeced by his Fellows in Folly, and Facing Famine,
he Found himself a Feed-Flinger in a Filthy Farmyard.
Fairly Famishing, he Fain would’ve Filled his Frame with
Foraged Food from Fodder Fragments.

“Fooey, my Father’s Flunkies Fare Far Finer,” the
Frazzled Fugitive Forlornly Fumbled, Frankly Facing
Facts. Frustrated by Failure, and Filled with Foreboding,
he Fled Forthwith to his Family. Falling at His Father’s
Feet, he Forlornly Fumbled, “Father, I’ve Flunked, and
Fruitlessly Forfeited Family Favor.”

The Far-sighed Father, Forestalling Further Flinching,
Frantically Flagged the Flunkies to Fetch a Fatling
From the Flock and Fix a Feast.

The Fugitive’s Fault-Finding Brother Frowned on Fickle
Forgiveness of Former Folderol. But the Faithful
Father Figured, “Filial Fidelity is Fine, but the
Fugitive is Found! What Forbids Fervent Festivity?
Let Flags unFurl! Let Fanfares Flare!”

The Father’s Forgiveness Formed the Foundation For
the Former Fugitive’s Future Fortitude!

HT Matt Postiff

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